a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
did i just pee glitter
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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