I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
