Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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