I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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