I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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