Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
