You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
