The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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