She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
