On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we're so committed to being not committed
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
