Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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