I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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