do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
