So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
