I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
