oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
