it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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