Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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