he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
