she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
