I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is the high leading the old right now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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