so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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