Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
