sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Farmville is her only friend.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
