he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
