Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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