Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
