My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
