So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
