my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
