I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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