it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
