I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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