i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
