Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
