Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
