Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
love makes seman taste better
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They took my balls.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
