She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
