im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
