please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
