at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
