he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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