I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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