Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
