Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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