If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
