Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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