woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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