i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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