Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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