This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The uberlube is also flammable
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
