I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
