I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
